26 November 2017

11 Things I'm Thankful for

"Thankful" posts are all the rage around this time of year. It's as predictable as the pumpkin-spice-everything phenomenon, and almost as tiresome. However, this year I'm going to break with my tradition of not adhering to tradition and participate. After all, as they say, never let yourself be outdone in the gratitude department. Well, okay, they don't say that; I just made it up now. (It sounded plausible.)

Here is a belated sampling of things for which I'm thankful. (I've tried my best to keep it well out of cliche territory.)

1. I'm thankful that my dog always thinks I'm wonderful, even though you and I know the real truth!

2. Even more amazingly, my husband seems to think so too -- and he is much, much smarter than the dog. So either I've done something right more often than I think, or he is just very kind. (My bet is on the latter.)

3. I'm thankful for steak and seafood and all other kinds of meat. I've heard it said that we won't eat meat in heaven -- in which case, fingers crossed that at least some of the plants taste like bacon.

4. I'm thankful that the glass I broke in the sink today was a dirty one instead of a clean one. At least then I didn't have to wash it.

5. I'm thankful that my washer and dryer make enough noise to drown out the neighbors.

6. I'm thankful I haven't gotten any colds so far this season. Excuse me while I go find a piece of wood to knock on...

7. I'm thankful for that tasteless burger and much too greasy fries I had for dinner tonight. It still beats having to stay home and cook. I'm thankful for any day I don't have to cook. If you've ever tasted my cooking, then you're thankful for this, too!

8. I'm thankful that most people are nicer than I am. At least, I'm pretty sure this is the case. All the time I find myself getting frustrated with people who don't know how to say "no", people who avoid necessary confrontation, and people who don't do what they want because they're worried about someone will think of them. When asked why, what's their answer? "Oh, I just can't. I'm too nice." (Boy, if that's what nice is, I hate to think what that must make me! Attila the Hun? PeeWee Gaskins? Still, I'm sure those nice people manage to make the world a better place to be than I do.)

9. I'm thankful for my hardwood floors. I'm sure that too-gross-to-be-mentioned dog mess would have left me with a permanent souvenir if it had happened on carpet.

10. I'm thankful for friends who make a fuss over me on my birthday, even though I'm way past the age for getting excited about that. (Not that it stops me anyway.)

11. I'm thankful for that most unique and valuable piece of real estate in the universe: the human mind. I'm thankful for everyone who gives me the honor of inviting me into theirs by allowing me to share some of mine. I always try to make it worth your while!

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