30 December 2017

Some Really Terrible Advice, Plus an Awesome Song

I'd like to draw your attention to the absurdity of a pithy little saying that I (and probably you too) have seen framed and cross-stitched and shared on social media:

"Live each day like it was your last."

Say what? This sounds to me like pretty much the most irresponsible advice ever. You know what I'd really do if I was actually living like today was my last day?

For one thing, I'd never, ever clean my house again. Ever. In fact, this would be one of the first things to go. Who willingly spends their last day of life dusting and vacuuming? Not me, that's who.

This naturally means we'd run out of plates and silverware after about a week, since washing dishes most certainly falls under the purview of cleaning and is therefore something I wouldn't be doing. I guess we'd have to buy plasticware and paper plates to eat off of. Of course, this would get kind of expensive after awhile, and it isn't great for the environment. But what do I care? I might not be around tomorrow.

I'd eat as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted. (Bottomless ice cream!) Yes, I know I'd be as fat as a walrus. However! Putting on weight takes more than one day, and I get to assume that one day is all I have. Works out beautifully, don't you think?

I'd also quit my job and get Wesley to quit his, too. Why should we be at work and apart from each other, right? Living it up on each potential Last-Day-Ever could get interesting when our house is foreclosed on and the utilities are shut off. But, oh well. Yay for not worrying about bills ever again! I'd put whatever I wanted on my credit card and not give it a second thought. Maybe I'd buy presents for my whole family.

Speaking of family, I guess I'd have to call each of them every night and have a long conversation about whatever's on my mind. I wouldn't be able to go and visit them anymore, since making travel plans requires multiple days. I wonder how long it'd take them to get tired of me calling every day?

You know... maybe this isn't such a fun idea after all.

In fact, it sounds kind of morbid. I don't think I really want to live like today is my last day ever. I'd like to believe I have many days ahead of me, thank you very much. I'm sure my mortgage, insurance, and credit card companies (and anyone else who makes money off me) would like to believe this, too.

And since I'm thinking of it, I'd like to share with you a somewhat-relevant song by the highly underrated Sim Redmond Band, which happens to be one of my favorites. Enjoy! (And go eat some ice cream.)

Now I'm off to start planning my to-do list.

For tomorrow, of course.

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