01 March 2018

10 More Things That Make No Sense

1. Strawberry-banana anything. Strawberry flavor = great. Banana flavor = great. Strawberry banana flavor = yuck. According to conventional wisdom from the likes of Gordon Ramsay, "If it grows together, it goes together." Well, seeing as strawberries grow best in cooler weather and bananas grow in the tropics, I have to wonder: Who decided they were a match?

2. Sports fanaticism at summer camp. More specifically, why it's okay to dislike any camp activities, except sports and games. At least, this is the case at every camp I've ever been a part of. Don't like hiking? No problem, it's optional. Arts and crafts? Optional. Swimming? Optional. Campfire time? Optional. Oh, but if you don't get out there and play kickball or volleyball or "cover your cabin mates in chocolate syrup and marshmallows" (if that's what the counselors decide to do that day), shame on you. You're not a good sport. You're not participating.

3. Regular cans. Pop top can lids are a thing, and have been for quite some time. Why do I still need a can opener? A can opener I use multiple times every day, 'cause canned food is so cheap. (If I need carpal tunnel surgery, I'm sending you the bill, can companies.)

4. Why someone says "Good question!" when what they really mean is, "I don't know." Why is it a good question if you don't know the answer? If you do know, does that mean the question was bad?

I really want to know why this is, but I can't seem to find the courage to ask anyone. I'm too afraid they'll say, "Good question..."

5. Breakfast in bed. I know for some people this is a really nice favor that makes them feel pampered. Me personally, it just reminds me of being sick. In our house growing up, you only ate in bed if you were too ill to sit at the table. (In which case, you probably weren't interested in eating much anyway.) Not to mention, toast crumbs or maple syrup in the sheets...

6. When people say they want their kids to stop growing up. I see it all the time in posts on social media: a photo of somebody's kid with the caption, "Stop growing up already!" And I'm thinking: You do know the only way that's possible is if your child dies... right?

7. Short sleeved shirts made of wool. There's literally no situation, no type of weather, in which these are just the right thing to have. If it's cold enough to be comfortable wearing wool, then I definitely want sleeves. If, on the other hand, it's hot enough to need short sleeves, then why the heck would I want to wear wool?

On that note...

8. Clothing tags. I don't know why we need these. The washing instructions can be printed right on the inside part of the fabric (a lot of companies already do this). Especially, underwear tags -- Seriously, what purpose do these actually serve, except to stick out of your pants when you least suspect it and cause an embarrassing moment? Maybe they could just give you an instruction manual when you buy clothes. If you really need it, that is -- most articles of clothing you wear on a day to day basis don't require special care anyway.

9. Houses that don't have dishwashers. Not many people these days would think of going without a washer and dryer, or a stove, or a fridge, or even a microwave. But for some reason, a lot of houses still don't have dishwashers in the kitchen. Why not? It's 2018, people. There's no reason I should still need to be wasting my time washing dishes by hand.

10. Zippered Bible covers. Everybody loves these for church, because you can keep bulletins and sermon notes and whatever else in them. But you never realize how much noise the zipper makes, until you need to open your Bible in a dead-silent church service.

1 comment:

  1. Breakfast in bed... It is not even comfortable! Is it because people want to eat and have sex at the same time?No, getting food all over where you sleep is not fun. My version of "short sleeved shirts made of wool" is "shorts with UGGs" because where I am from people do wear them in the winter, and no sometimes they are not warm enough if you have to stand outside for 20 minutes.